I can’t write anything. :/
In the dark, the only things unseen Are those you wish Were not real.
I had a dream that someone I really care about died. for a second, we were back in high school except he wasn’t really there, because it was her. We joked about body massages with that redhead boy and marched side by side and played mallet instruments. In college, she revealed her lies and he spread his wings. Last night in my mind, he died, and I woke up crying. Today I got in touch so...
Down, up. A fucking cycle. I don’t mind though. Coolest few days ever. This fucking man…
" And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm...
La la la~
Oh hay Christine, why haven’t you been writing anything at all? Blah. I’ve been so busy. Working 50+ hour weeks with only one day off taking care of my boy and trying to manage some sleep. Sigh. Oh. But I met a boy. I don’t even know what to say about it. I just…met him.
Just something to wake up my will to write.
And just like that, she was gone. No more protective warmth. No more safe haven from my torment. No more love, at all. I was selfish because I didn’t care if she was alive for anyone else. I loved her and of course I missed her but self-preservation was more important. I needed her halo of hairspray and dementia set firmly in place. It began almost immediately. The road trip back to...
Hay Tumblr, how you been?!
Negativity, go away.
All it takes is a beautiful, productive day with my son to wash all my ill feelings away. I’m so proud of him. We went hiking and he lasted the whole 3 hours without complaint. Got a little tired at the end and I carried him but it was a lovely hike. We had a picnic in the mountain and encountered another familyand he was so sweet to them. His love and appreciation for nature makes me so...
I swear, I fucking hate everyone today. I’m supposed to take my son hiking, just me and him, but who knows if that will happen because everyone else is irresponsible and waits until the last second to “NEED” something and fuck up my child’s whole day. Goddammit, somebody please come fix my car so I can forget about them entirely.
Waiting for my boss to show up for management class. Hopefully we’ll be done with this class soon, I’m ready for the new job. Apple cinnamon walnut oatmeal. Win. Coffee and a strawberry creme pie. Love.
The one where she says everything and nothing at...
I want to feel something.
It's a beautiful day.
All I want to do is get through work and power snooze when I get home. Hopefully there will be no major setbacks and I can just be chill the next two weeks because it looks like my finances arefinally getting under control. Need to repair the car, then start working on the money I “owe” to my son’s father. Once that is clear, I will be ready to actually start living. ...
thediamondsinlucyssky-deactivat asked: I love your blog! you've got a lovely way with words. must be the way you see the world
Tell me why I always forget I am cut from the cloth of the Divine Feminine, that eternally the power is in my hands and not those of my oppressor? Such was the case with the shirtless boy next door. Only four years my junior, he was just young enough to make me feel old. Instead of the age advantage making me strong, I instead felt weak and doubtful. My movements next to his Greek-godesque...
“Just give up.” came the muffled voice from outside the bolted door. My heart racing to keep up with my frantic breath, I made no reply. We are all alone here. The crowd waiting outside the half-bathroom of my nightmares to witness my descent was a mirage. They were real, sure, the people, but they didn’t know what they were going to see. They, like I, were here for the...