As much as i don’t want to admit this i think I’m fooling myself. I’d never ever say i hate someone I “love” and never have. Even when people i care for are at their worst and even if i am getting abuse as a result of it… i don’t talk bad about them. To anyone. And maybe I’m the one in the wrong here. Because sorry if this is self centered but i think i deserve a lot of credit here. I didn’t give up and i didn’t get angry and i didn’t trash you or us. And i can’t figure out if i made excuses for you or not. All i know is everything is supposed to be fine now and i said I’d be here but i think I’ve got other things to do, just like you. I need friends i actually like and i needed to let you go when you were so awful to me. I woke up this morning with a broken heart because my dreams put it into perspective. I tried to clear my head and find that love but you simply don’t have it. Fuck, every time.
I love you @gamsaray !
About to start a shift at a store an hour away, have to work here for a week to get some certifications so i can be a manager at my new job. I finally left my old position after complaining about it for two years. I’m nervous about sucking, I’ve only worked here for a couple weeks and don’t know everything necessary but my boss needs a manager badly.
I’ve forgotten how to tumblr so @plasticpancakes - thanks! Glad to be back.
…. it’s all okay.
I take that back,i don’t actually wonder what it’ll be like because i don’t want to know. But i guess I’ll find out.
Seriously like every relationship i have ends with the other party telling me they didn’t like me a long time ago and they “stuck around” for this or that. Cool. But it’s dishonest and it hurts more in the end. Like oh when you realize you don’t love me and I’m not pregnant but then you finally give me the heads up when I’m six months along after you’ve asked me to marry you and gotten my son good and attached.
This is why i deactivated my facebook, because i have no self control. At least nobody reads my tumblr
So i wonder what it’ll be like to be twenty four with two kids by two different men;one who makes life hell and one who makes my heart ache and my brain a wreck
I guess the thing that’s hardest for humans when it comes to mating is acceptance. You choose who you choose for a reason. We always want them to be different though don’t we?
Why do you think destroying everything will get your point across?
Seriously, i don’t think i want to try anymore. I just want to hang out with my son for the next sixteen weeks and enjoy his short time left as an only child. Then i want like, a weeklong nap before having this baby. I kinda just want to be left alone other than my children… Grown ups make everything difficult and nobody is truly looking out for me and mine.